The Kids Don't Stand a Chance

It's been quite a while since i last sat down and deliberated my life's path. The constant ventures, the moving of home and the grounding of my being in my personal growth has not dissuaded me from my callings, but has been a welcome distraction.

Now looking at the happenings in the world; even here at home, i feel drawn again to the battle; to the quintessential human struggle. Evolution has been a big word in the many realms of scientific and philosophical pursuits today, and already the esoteric's are calling this coming age (2012) the next stage of our reality - of what i truly don't know. But the cool thing is, i feel like i am part of that shift, that turnkey of which all will find it's place, and some sort of nativity will take place. (nope not in a christian sense, but of a spiritual plane that will move us internally)

My eyes take me back to that place, of despair and disillusionment. But this time, it doesn't feel personal, no anger and frustration in my core, instead a sensible calm, haha in fact a romantic sense of belonging steeps in. My wisdom has been uncovered, my tools are being sharpened and the process is leading me to the inevitable.

I remember reading a line from Ayn Rand's Fountainhead, about if any work is to be produced, it is mandatory, that is must come from within the deepest realm of the soul. "If anything is to be given, let it be your soul." A powerful resonance, that has shaped my life, recently.

So listening to a song today, (how god places great many things in my ears) i was brought back to my teenage years, the happy fight of protesting against the status quo, the rebel in me going against the grain, the questioning of formal authority and the dumb fucks that holds the system in place.

I smiled, and quietly chuckled. Naive, yet passionate. How good day's were, when we were young and stupid. :) Today however, i am back to the start, the end and beginning of that perfect circle. Wiser, mature and grounded in the realness of life's flow. More then aware of my flaws, and my pitfalls, i am complete and free...

Tomorrow is today and i am sleepy, and i know as i awake, the stirring in me will be expressed and i pray for the angels to lead me on. Cause if you really look at the world, and the behaviour of our species, you will be embarrassed and sadden by all the atrocities we have to fight and make better. Yes there are better people out there, but think about it. If we continue, or let continue what we have been doing and allowing;

Our Kids don't stand a chance.

I See Your Smile.

I see the smiles on the screen, and i wonder if it is all real, not the disjointed reality i see. Are you really happy with all, or is that just a captured moment of fleeting bliss? Cause i see you differently, i see your anguish, i deal with your pain; so how can you smile and seem like it isn't there? The worst of each of us; somehow i know, lives in our smile.

Your eyes seem heavy, like dark pearls closed by the oyster's shell, shielding the truth. I stare into them and i get lost, the psychic maze shrouds me over and i somehow feel safe. Like the stain on a used sofa (wine remanence of a happier day, of memories of sullen faces but bright eyes) of a material so comfortable and broken in.

The antiquity of my memory, shows all the hidden pain behind all those eyes, with smiles on faces - the quiet fear, the mistaken portrait of contentment reminds me why i am here. I am that face, i am that smile, those eyes belong to me just the same. A mirror, a screen, a window; all i see is my pale shadowed reflection, screaming silently. Me with sullen face, curled down lips and that antagonized frown, but seeing with bright bliss filled eyes. I know the honor, the pride of staring at one's own soul and it staring back at me.

With that, now i know; that birth of a star, of that galaxy born within us, and i will never be the same. My breath has been taken away, so has my immortality and it's alright. I now understand what it means to be human, apart and away from my soul. That i have learned from staring into your eyes. I see your sorrow, but its okay, your smile protects you. But only with you, i can flow away.