Personal Fumigation.

Is this life really a mystery?

This new bubble of unfolding consciousness, imbued upon this makeshift matter, brings a syncretic conundrum. "My Organic form, versus my capacity to weave life's intrinsic energy flow". I dwell too much on the innate spirituality, mind scopes of philosophical epistemology's and i have seemed to miss my sensuous motion of my physicality. I speak truth when i say, i don't feel much of anything anymore...

In retrospect, i am moving towards a new "numb", a feeling i have yet to fully experience. It is interesting to observe myself in the daily struggles and postulations from my Oedipus complex... (damn you Freud!) Hitting the books again is a beautiful ugly, from Sartre to Heidegger back to the tenets of the Integral. My mind is consumed with new array of patterns, and this cognitive kaleidoscope feels like an acid/LSD cocktail.

Not a wisdom found, but through the nihilistic approach, everything simplifies, deconstructs and brings a new wonder. Looking at my life in general, nothing has changed yet everything has... I am not hungry for anything anymore, (maybe plants) but i feel i have stopped growing and have hit a plateau. The walls are higher this time and i can't see where it ends. I have observed it, walked the length of it and sat in hope of a bulldozer tearing a hole...

The walls are nothing but stone, hard and gray. I feel it's callous cold and i wonder out loud. "where am i?" I have explore the depths of my mind, sat in meditations for hours on end and the summit of the stone face leads me back to my physical form. Seeking to know where, my root Chakra, my Muladhara, the grounded-ness of my set organic make up is currently at, leaves me with only one conclusion.... i don't really fucking know.

I have never really cared, for my physical form. This supposedly temple of mine has been abused, and left decrepit. So maybe to climb the wall is to tend and garden this body of mine. A journey i have put aside and left for other pursuits. I am not lazy, i just didn't see the point. Managing the flow, of life's beautiful landscape is now a physical journey. *sigh* I don't have that youthful passionate verve to rebel and lay waste to the dogmatic rituals many aspire to. This body is tired, so i will bring a new understanding for it's limits just because i can, not because it makes absolute sense nor it's benefits enticing me with new dimensions of awareness.

I miss my Minerva, the epoch of artistic endeavours only known to those who find solace in the temple they own and carry. I knew that once... a long time ago. I seek that ladder,to climb this wall. My next stage of evolution is physical, and a word of warning to you my "ego"... Bugger off and let me do what i will.

Let Your Drummer Kick

In the midst of the pursuit of success, to be free from our fears and just trying to survive; taking time to breathe, to center oneself amongst the chaos has been a forgotten privilege. This microcosm of lifestyles we adhere too, what ever it maybe keeps us binded and trapped. We try to hard to have others like us, so that we can have the proverbial "pat on the back" that distant "Kudos" just to be admired in someway or another.

Self power is a disillusioned entity that lives in the self-help section of the many bookstores and libraries we visit. It is already within our grasp. There is no need to reach for it, to pursue that freedom all human beings long for. It is right here, right now - that tiny voice ever so quiet, urging us to follow the deepest calling, our truest vocation. To evolve, to expand, to be truly great only in our eyes is the most courageous act. To do what you truly want takes the greatest of courage. To stare fear, to look at society's pressures and say NO, i follow the music within, i step to a different drummer none of you can touch, will be met with extreme resistance, judgement and prejudice. Especially from the people who care most about you.

This life is indeed one big struggle, to evolve, and to be free.
Yet it is to be enjoyed...

So take time, if you want - to simply be still and quiet.
Listen to that small voice within.
Breathe and expand.
and let it inspire you.

Let your drummer kick.

"Why should we be in such desperate haste to succeed, and in such desperate enterprises? If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music in which he hears, however measured, or far away." ~ Henry David Thoreau

Let the drummer kick

Relations
Creation
Incarceration
Determination
Equation
Humiliation
Reincarnation
Situation
Elation
Identification
Retaliation
Education
Inspiration
No substitution
Solution
Conclusion

Let the drummer kick

Relations (Apollo had to break 'em)
Creation (It's a gift, a blessing)
Incarceration (What keeps you down)
Determination (What gets you out)
Equation (When they said you could make it)
Humiliation (What you feel when they say it)
Reincarnation (N-A-V)
Situation (Why we've got to sing)
Elation (So many in need)
Identification (Gives you the right to shoot)
Retaliation (What would it do)
Education (Gives you the right to do)
Inspiration (What pulls you through)
No substitution (No substitute)
Non-inclusion (Just got to bust through)
Drug infusion (For the chosen few)
Mass confusion (When they say that they died for you)
Delusion (Say that the dreams don't come true)
Solution (It can take a hold of you)
Conclusion

Inspiration (Is what pulls you through)

Let the drummer kick (Inspiration)

You don't even have to wait

Let the drummer kick that

~ Lyrics from "Let the drummer Kick" (Citizen Cope)

With Much,