My Weekend

Was about:
Dreams, Friends, Fun, Depth, Lessons, Choices, Awkwardness, Simplicity, Nature, Brotherhood, Love, Magical Moments, Connection, Fulfillment

Most of all

Meaning.


Life has been a Dream. Nothing short of Magical.

Age of Aquarius

When the moon is in the seventh house
and Jupiter aligned with Mars,
then peace will rule the planets
and love will rule the stars.

This is the dawning of the Age of Aquarius...

Addenda

sometimes i wonder
sometimes i ponder

about pretty much everything and nothing at all

A Childish Whim

I seek my shadow, looking for the enigma twice untold,
Falsified and bold
It skips away
from much which i behold.

I search my land, I search with my hands.
Bend and bent, it eludes me.
I look and see
but its not to be

Stay I shout!

It looks back
Silly silhouette
It mocks me
for the umpteen time

"I am you "
Said it, shocking me
Cajoling me
Madness

Stunned and Bewildered I listened

Why do you always look to what you don't have?

Frightened and confused
I wonder
A point made
That had me shudder

Why do you seek and not see?

Flippant my senses
Leaves me
I look down
Thus i see

You are indeed
me
The shadow
The friend

You were always here
i was afraid to fear
but now i see
You never eluded me

There Will Be Blood

An achievement in cinematography.

What a Movie! Gripping and bends you out of shape,leaving you panting and exhilarated.
Simply one to the best movies ever made.

Minimalistic in the all things; Paul Thomas Anderson (Director) draws out the essence of the story and builds beautiful imagery around an epic and outstanding Daniel Day Lewis Performance. It's been awhile since i have witness such acting; the supreme perfection in the way Daniel Plainview was portrayed.

A story which , depicts the harshness and the scorn of Men. An offspring which hues both Daniel Plainview and Eli Sunday as the archetypes that brings all darkness to mankind.
One, a ruthless Businessman who is deeply intelligent and conniving, the other a "Holy Man" building a religious movement by whatever means necessary. Tragically and worrying, both believe they are justified in their actions. (which makes me wonder if the same is happening today)

Set in the wild west, the story revolves around oil and religion, money and faith.
Need i say more.

Go watch it and watch it soon.
This movie is a piece of History and a Milestone in Cinematography Excellence.



The Trailer.



Daniel Day Wins The Oscars for Best Actor for his role in "There Will Be Blood"

Memories of a time past 9

It keeps going on, day after day, son.

You fake! you don't want none.

I'm sick and tired of people treating me(others) this way everyday.

To a world that never appreciated shit.

You can suck my dick and fucking like it!

____________________________________________________________________

Just reminiscing.....

Awakening

What Can I Say, cept'

LIBERATION, EMANCIPATION, FREE

two faced no more.
A distaste prelude, to a
fantastical mode

I inhale, I exhale.

Little by little I find my feet, my self.

It's About Time.

It's about time....
I SAY ....

FUCK IT!!!!

My Wednesday Weakness

A bright sunny Wednesday,

My heart bleeds.....
I miss her....

A other day, at the office, another day i long...
A fission of my own needs and
my heart tugs...

____________________________________________________________________

"Nobody said it was easy
It's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard"
oh take me back to the start.

I was just guessing
At numbers and figures
Pulling your puzzles apart

Questions of science
Science and progress
Do not speak as loud as my heart

Tell me you love me
Come back and haunt me
Oh and I rush to the start

____________________________________________________________________


A shudder
A Sigh
I bleed, on a high

Two faced
and Lonely
I hide

____________________________________________________________________

Back to you
It always comes around
Back to you
I tried to forget you
I tried to stay away
But its too late

Over you
Im never over
Over you
Something about you
Its just the way you move
The way you move me

Im so good at forgetting
And I quit ever game I play
But forgive me, love
I cant turn and walk away

Back to you
It always comes around
Back to you
I walk with your shadow
Im sleeping in my bed
With your silhouette

Should have smiled in that picture
If its the last that Ill see of you
Its the least that you
Could not do

Leave the light on
Ill never give up on you
Leave the light on
For me too

Back to me
I know that it comes
Back to me
Doesnt it scare you
Your will is not as strong
As it used to be
____________________________________________________________________

......

Antiquity

My time, my own
Sits in fallow

How should i,
Fail not to pretend
My stunting growth
Un-Reprimanded

Material wholly unneeded
Manifest of this worldly
Joys aplenty

How often i have wondered
The obscurities of life's
challenges in images

How love is just a breath
A mystic enigma
Of uncommon solitude

A loving monument
Speaking in
Cryptic verses
This life is

My Feelings

Describable?

May not be so easy.
I am not such a open book, as i am not a book.
A quandary of non-sophistication from my in-articulation in the place where i most reside.

I feel bemused, uncertain and falsified, but with an intense ache in my heart. A failsafe of hidden needs. Untouched and rusty, it starts to overwhelm me.
It is said that an Aquarius; is cold and unemotional, aloof but never stupefied.

As i have mentioned, my heart aches....
Simply put. I am human.

*sigh*

Listen to "Colorblind"
by Counting Crows.
( Click My Music Box )

Heartfelt, I stand clueless.

Dennet...........

Did God Create Evil?

A university professor challenged his students with this question: Did God create everything that exists?

A student bravely replied "Yes, he did!"

"God created everything?" the professor asked.

"Yes sir," the student replied.

The professor answered, "If God created everything, then God created evil since evil exists, and according to the principal that our works define who we are, then God is evil."

The professor was quite pleased with himself and boasted to the students that he had proven once more that the Christian faith was a myth.

Another student raised his hand and said, "Can I ask you a question professor?"

"Of course," replied the professor.

The student stood up and asked, "Professor does cold exist?"

The professor replied "Of course it exists. Have you never been cold?"

The students snickered at the young man's question. The young man replied, "In fact sir, cold does not exist. According to the laws of physics, what we consider cold is in reality the absence of heat.

Everybody or object is susceptible to study when it has or transmits energy, and heat is what makes a body or matter have or transmit energy.

Absolute zero (- 460 degrees F) is the total absence of heat. Cold does not exist. We have created this word to describe how we feel if we have no heat.

The student continued. "Professor, does darkness exist?"

The professor responded, "Of course it does."

The student replied, "Once again you are wrong sir. Darkness does not exist either. Darkness is in reality the absence of light. Light we can study, but not darkness. In fact we can use Newton's prism to break white light into many colors and study the various wavelengths of each color.

You cannot measure darkness. A simple ray of light can break into a world of darkness and illuminate it. How can you know how dark a certain space is? You measure the amount of light present. Isn't this correct? Darkness is a term used by man to describe what happens when there is no light present."

Finally the young man asked the professor. "Sir, does evil exist?" Now uncertain, the professor responded, "Of course as I have already said.

We see it every day. It is in the daily example of man's inhumanity to man. It is in the multitude of crime and violence we see everywhere in the world. These manifestations are nothing else but evil."

To this the student replied, "Evil does not exist sir, or at least it does not exist unto itself. Evil is simply the absence of God. It is just like darkness and cold, a word that man has created to describe the absence of God. God did not create evil. Evil is the result of what happens when man does not have God's love present in his heart. It's like the cold that comes when there is no heat or the darkness that comes when there is no light."

The professor sat down.

The young man's name --- Albert Einstein

"The significant problems we face cannot be solved by the same level of thinking that created them."

Albert Einstein

Screaming at God

A bumper sticker reads:

I screamed at God for all the starving children, and then I realized that all of the starving children were God screaming at me.

When It Rains It Pours

What now I feel?
A senseless void?
Beauty vacuumed?
A climate Gray?

Finally Swayed
I stand refreshed.
To a home
Unfurnished and extended.

+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_++__

A mist in rain
Sunshine a former mind
Seeking solace in uniformed contempt

Shadowed and frightening
The soul reflects mindful decadence
A sensual end

Fluttered away, meek and gray
Join in tandem Pitter Patter rain.

Cleansing Air, muddied soil
A former mane of proficient mildew
Slides away

Diffident and mucky
The puddle i stand
Cold and wet, my heart whispers bland.

Who Am I?

I am, I am
Or am I not;

A Float-some in this sea of the indescribable perfection?
An Absolute reality of nothingness, in it a thing called no-thing?
The eye of innocent imagination, of creativity, an invention of consciousness, a projected novelty?
The phantom of breath, of organic substance, a star shattered residue?
Unless a Storm of brewed chaotic arrogance; such a wholeness of chance, an enigma?
A mediocre representation of the entity beyond?
A Perfection of Energy, Spirit and Thought?
Maybe an organ, a spoke finding a place in the wheel or just a simple clog in the time-piece of eternity?
An insignificant furious actor of a deeper, bigger, secret play?
The relation of relationships?
Or a Simple vibration of an unsuspecting mind?

Am I, I am
or am I not?

Incubus Live in Singapore 2008

Incubus live in Singapore.

Should I say anything more?
Seriously?!!

A dream brewing for close to 10 years - Turns to reality.


It was one of the best nights i have ever had in my life!

Right from the entrance and into the crowd. Friendships were formed instantaneously, cigarettes where being passed around and shared. All standing around and awaiting for the Head Banging, moshing and to just stand in awe of what is "Incubus."

The Band came on stage, the crowd erupted and everyone surged forward.

Old memories of why i fell in love with Rock and Metal. The honesty portrayed both on stage and in the crowd was miraculous - infectious, something you would never have imagined coming from stoners, rockers and metal heads. All standing as brothers; arms wrapped around each other , no one caring that they didn't know you, still smiling, moving and jumping in tandem.
There is nothing quite like it, you can not get the same camaraderie when in an RnB Concert, "Womad", or whatever kind of concert.

I will never forget...
There was an Indonesian Guy with 3 other friends who came all the way from KL just to be there. That dude rocked the hardest, always in the thick of the pits, jumping and grooving to the music. 2 songs from the end, body cramped and aching, he lay down under a tree and just smiled.
Knowing he went all the way and came out with memories and wonderment.

Incubus Music.

A band so pristine with sonic vibes, power and melody. A voice so pure and forthcoming. Beauty and Jar. Power and Movement, Sounds with Meanings.

Brandon Boyd - Mercurial Vocalist and Lyricist.
Lyrics with deep masterful meanings that brings higher thoughts/consciousness into a simple force. A music that will have you grow.

Lyrics form songs like "Crow Left of The Murder"

Un-learn me
Ditch what I read
Behind what I heard

Look Find Free
Yet? Do you get it yet?
Do you get it?
From here on it's instinctual
Even straight roads meander
Every piece contains a map of...
It all!
It all!

Evidence
In the march of the ant
Pulse of the sea

Lyrics "Pistola"

On the tip of my tongue an offensive is poised and rearing
My intention a bullet, my body a trigger finger

So with that, please, if have yet to hear anything from them, you don't know what your missing.
I leave you with a video from the concert.



Brandon Boyd Vocals.

My Promise to myself

I wrote this is my little notebook, after digging a trench in someones backyard in the cold rain of Seattle. Tired and Freezing, i spent the rest of the afternoon, reading M.L King Jr.

Once done, i was overcame by inexplicable sadness and i sat in silence, hands covering face, water dripping from my eyes and with a small ambiguous solace in my heart. I started writing.

My words, two years ago;

"Ever since the day I finished reading the late M.L.King Jr,
I choose to dedicate my life in improving humanity through knowledge and heartfelt virtue.
To bring about the vision of the world in it's glorious giving and sharing; of the world's resources in a competent and responsible way.
To create society's fundamental values in bringing out true humanity and beauty."

"The evil that man do lives after them"

My Fabric

Ok, enough about my struggles, It time to talk about a revolution.

The closest ideal i hold in my fabric of me, is a movement of people who care about the world and all that is precious in it. A hope, a faith that the tide will turn and the destruction and needless suffering ends. A distant memory of our tumultuous history, a disgust the next generation will wipe clean from their contemporary reality.

Wake up and speak only truth.

For our time is now.




Too many people dying
Too many people starving
Too many people homeless
Too many people being abused
Too many people sick
Too many people exploited
Too many people who hate
Too many people broken
Too many people lonely
Too many people given up
Too many people tired

Because there are;
Too many people who don't care.

Is End the Beginning of the Now?

Muffled silence.

"Oh Well. Oh well, Apparently nothing... apparently nothing at all."

Today i let it all go...
The pain, the deceit and the confusion....
.....
It still hurts deep though.
Its now my time to heal.

___________________________________________________________________

Lyrics from an old christian song i grew up with.
Skillet - Saturn

I ask him
When will I
Be free he
Said I am Asking him
When will I Change he said
No matter now No matter now
Saturn has a ring around it
You can never see it with your eyes
Saturn has a ring around it
Many moons know this to be true

You ask him
How can you
Be real he
Said you'll be
Knowing him
How you do
Now he says
Rest in this Rest in this

Saturn has a ring around it
You can never see it with your eyes
Saturn has a ring around it
Many moons know this to be true
Heaven has a ring around it The angels sing a song over you Heaven has a ring around you If you don't see it know that it's true ____________________________________________________________________

I see that there is nothing to change, nothing to force, to move, to really heal.
She has left me for good.
And thats that.

So now, its just me and me alone.

I've been through much worse, and with scars i still carry.
This has left me with lessons and growth which will has already made me stronger.
The journey about loving someone else with utmost intensity, letting down all guards and needs.
Just being with someone just to be with that someone, no agendas. no expectations, just an opportunity to give of myself and explore who i am.
All of which brings me back to where i started, this time much more equipped and wiser.
I thank and appreciate the gift that was given, my life is much clearer now.

So i guess,
I'll leave it as that, and give you the pleasure of reading my favorite quote.

"Content yourself with being a lover of wisdom, a seeker of the truth. Return and return again to what is essential and worthy.”

Epictetus

A Moment Please.

An Attempt:

So i have nothing, absolutely nothing left to contemplate, to resolve and to fear.
I have Nothing... (whatever that means)

An introduction:

A miserable feeling one gets, when one feels one is not enough.
I understand my mis-conception of a "need". It fucked it up.
I Need! = I'm Fucked up!

Like an effigy, sucked into a vortex mounting an encapsulation of my imagination.
I don't understand what is happening, I don't understand the point of it all.
My pounding mass of what doctors call, "my heart" is feeling heavy. Heavy to the point of my survival "meme" is fluctuating between numbness or fury.

What Went Wrong?
The self loathing 3 "W's"

I'm avoiding my worth or is it my worthlessness; as i feel nothingness emotionally, but with a heavy-"cardiacus". Bewildered and astonished at my predicament.
Superfluous, Enchanted and Naive.

The Conclusion:

She might actually leave me.....

Realization:

I might be back to where i started. To focus on the "Now" where my true power is. A habit which I am coerced back by GOD/Universe to my center, my essence.
I become = no need to Need.
I am = Creation not reaction.

Funny how a little writing helps, i am clear now.
I am to just Be, to just create.

Que Sara Sara, what ever will be will be, the future's not ours to see.

Next course of Action:

To breathe.

Dennet
The Spiral Inquirer.
Leave a comment please, i would like to know your thoughts, opinions, judgments.
One in the same.